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Copyright © 2002 Derek Taylor
Dear John,
I must admit that I was deeply saddened when I read the link that Bill had sent to me regarding Lu Ryba's obituary. My thought processes were disrupted and for a while and all I could think was, "how could Lu the Ultimate Male die at such a young age!" That Lu's death should so affect me may seem odd since I did not know him that well. In fact I mostly knew him through the eyes of Eeke Van der Waal. As I thought about it, I realized that this was exactly why this death seemed so tragic to me.
I must admit that I fixed a beam on Eeke the minute she walked through doors of the neurophysiology lab as a medical graduate from the Netherlands. Yes, my first impulses centered around her being a desirable looking woman, but then the Sandman had her speak to me after her interview (or was it that I jumped on the opportunity to try to make a little conversation during an idle moment within her tour of the lab). Regardless of exact circumstance I found Eeke to have intriguing intellect upon speaking to her. The intrigue built when she showed up to work with her hair in its, more natural configuration, reminiscent of Thing 1 and Thing 2 ala Dr. Seuss, although jet black. Eeke probably did not know what to make of me shouting `EEEK' upon seeing her like that, but it was meant as affectionate approval; I have this need (perhaps obnoxious compulsion) to come up with nick names for people I like, and this intentional mispronouncing of her name seemed appropriate. Something about the wild hair and her casual attire told me that Eeke possessed an enjoyable personality.
Naturally, under the pretense of helping her orient, I dogged her for the first few weeks that she was in the lab, until she finally opened up to me conversationally (or was it that she was opening up to Paula, one of our graduate students conversationally, and I more than coincidentally overheard). Either way the first significant information we received regarding EEEK's personal life was that one of its' central figures was Lu. From the way that her pupils dilated and her breathing raced as she spoke of her experiences with Lu, I could tell that he was some one she respected and admired. By the end of the conversation, which I managed to completely interject myself into, I was referring to Lu as "The Ultimate Male," perhaps with a tone of mocking jealousy; I was jealous of anyone who could so firmly secure the affections of such a charming and intelligent woman.
After months of asking EEEK when we would meet "Lu The Ultimate Male," she finally dared bring him to a lab social function, a picnic and softball game. After an afternoon with Lou, I was convinced that he was indeed eponymous of the ultimate male: He was rugged and masculine; aside from athletic prowess he had the resilience that comes from overcoming adversity; in addition to command of knowledge in the field of his passion cars, he had an intuitive appreciation for a broad breadth of subjects; and he had enough wit and a sense of humor to make a self deprecating joke when I walked up to him and said, "so you're Lu The Ultimate Male."
Recollecting knowing Lu through the eyes of EEEK I realize why learning of his death affected me. Within my preconception of the ultimate male is this image of great conquest. Lu's obituary justly points to his conquest as a student, an engineer, as a race car driver. However, one of my favorite poems states: "With their triumphs and their glories and the rest... Love is best" (Robert Browning: Love Among The Ruins"). Few things are more meaningful attainments for a man than to secure the respect and admiration of the woman he loves. For this I ascent that Lu was the ultimate male, and EEKE the ultimate woman for bringing him to that status. I mourn the loss of that kind of love from the world.
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